What is Coaching ?
My very early experience of coaching was met with much resistance. I was Head of Operations and the organization offered me a coach as part of a benefit for my role. I was so resistant at the time, and felt that I knew everything and did not need someone to come and tell me how to do my job. I knew very little about coaching, and so the initial sessions I imagine were very painful for the coach. I was like a spoilt child not wanting to answer any questions, until I did some reflection and got curious about my own behavior. I did some research around coaching and quickly found that this person was not here to tell me how to do my job, if anything he was here to challenge and stretch me to be even better than I was. At the time I never imagined that I would value the coaching profession as much as I do today.
My Journey with coaching started a few years after, when I ventured into consulting working as a Project Lead. I realised the impact that coaching has on my own personal life and how asking the right questions often was the magic that was needed for a successful project. I did my NLP Management Coaching certification through the Neuro Semantics Institute. At the time I did not begin to imagine how I would evolve into the coaching world. My work was mostly in Management development and Project Implementation internationally and in South Africa. This often meant taking a directive approach with project management. fast forward, I decided to step out of the consulting world and focus on coaching. More recently I use my coaching skills with many corporate clients and in the NPO space. I am gifted to work with communities and other coaches in the field of social development. I get to also learn and grow with many coaches from different coaching modalities as their development partner.
What is Coaching? When that question was raised in the tutorial, I felt myself stepping back and thinking “actually what is coaching?” It was a great reflection point for me for many reasons. I was so excited to hear what the thinking in the room was. I could resonate so easily when Mel made reference to his children being his best coaches. I often felt that my children are my best teachers in so many ways.
Coaching is present in our everyday life. It show’s up through our engagement with each other. I have been fortunate to have so many coaches present in my life, that have taken the time to make me feel heard, seen and loved. I am constantly reminded about how my best coach has been the one’s that have allowed me to find my own solutions to my challenges.
My take away from the start of this journey is one of unlearning to relearn. The road ahead is clear for me and the sessions ahead will provide me with the tools I need to create my coaching map. I love the illustration of coaching as a dance. The coach and coachee being in sync with each other. Coaching is a partnership between 2 people, with the rhythm that is set by the coachee through conversation. As a coach I move to the steps of the coachee, in the direction that makes sense for the coachee. My role is to simply follow without stepping on the toes of the coachee with my own agenda.
A coach has the ability to take one to the cutting edge of their deepest thinking. We can only have this if there is trust in the partnership. The discovery journey process is for the coachee. The path is made clear by the caochee’s thinking and not ours as coaches. “If its not their discovery, its not their path” absolutely love that thinking from Mel. The more I reflect about the “what is coaching” I am reminded about the work of Nancy Kline, and the power of independent thinking. This happens when we have someone that is genuinely interested in what we have to say. A coach is one that creates a space that allows the coachee to discovery their journey through their own thinking with the endless possibility of what can be.
We are often afraid of the possibilities and we create boundaries that are safe for us to operate within. As coaches we need to break free from the boundaries and offer that endless experience to our Coachee’s. It really is in the way of being and how we show up that offers the gift of possibilities to our Coachee’s.