Coaching 101
I appreciated the courage around sharing the challenges that were experienced by everyone in the group. It certainly allowed me to connect more with everyone, even thought I was not in the room at the time. I loved that Dr Ken was reflecting back the challenges to everyone. I love the circle concept and often use it in many area’s of the work I do. It creates the beauty of equality for everyone. The invitation of someone to sit in the middle and be held in the space of the circle with care and compassion around their challenge was great to experience. The advise giving made me curious and I was keen to listen more to understand where Dr Ken was taking us on this journey of 101 Coaching.
As I continue to listen and reflect, I value the times that I am actually able to be in the class versus listening to it. As I hear the advice that others were giving to Joyce, I felt the overwhelm of hearing what others think she should do, and as subtle as many of the suggestions where, I kept wondering, who are these suggestions best for, Joyce or the person giving the advise? This was a great practical experience and my own thinking was re-affirmed when I heard Dr Ken ask Joyce how she felt and her first words was around the overwhelm. I reflected on how many times I have given solutions opposed to allow others to think for themselves. I have shown up in many instances and sometimes still do, as directive and upon reflecting often ask myself was that empowering or dis-empowering for the person with the challenge. It really is a skill to remain open and curious opposed to quickly giving out the answer that I feel is right at the time, but right for who?
The talking circle practically show’s us how ready we are to give people our opinion. If I have to look back at all the advise or opinions that I have personally received, 9 times out of 10 I have not followed it.
It is important to understand what coaching is not to move into what coaching actually is. The coaching circle felt more natural where the coaches could ask questions. This allowed the one with the challenge to open up to their own thinking through the questions. There is not doubt that asking the right questions supports independent thinking.
As we progress into the session, the roles of a Counselor, Mentor and Coach are explored and the actions of outcomes for each. This is a conversation I often have with clients, as many see these roles as so similar. I appreciated the way the session explained it.
My take away from the roles:
Counselling is about guiding around best practice, what has worked for others around a similar situation. It is usually more supportive around one’s mental health and emotional wellbeing. The counsellor often looks at historical data to help the client move forward.
A Mentor grooms the next person, usually in the same field of profession or line of work where the mentor has experience to share with the mentee. I like to think of it as walking a journey with someone that has walked it before me. I love this quote I read ” A coach has great question for your answer, a mentor has great answers for your questions” unknown.
Coaching is about the growing of the persons individual perspective and their clarity of thinking around a crossroad or challenge. It is an enabler and journey of discovery for the coachee while the coach walks alongside with compassion, curiosity and no judgement. The key is to go deeper into the coachee’s thinking with asking the right questions and challenge with affirmation towards the growth of the coachee. I like to see it as an appreciation for the coachee who is prepared to venture into their own deepest thinking. The coach also needs to be a great listener to be able to play back to the coachee exactly what the coach has heard the coachee say. This is allows the coachee to move into clarity of the direction that her or she wants to go. an illustration of what this can often look like :
