Coach – Listens Actively
I absolutely loved the practical experience of the 9th webinar. What does it truly mean to be listened to and to be heard with absolute positive intent ? We certainly covered this with great content as I deeply immersed myself in being present and listening. To listen intentionally can be very challenging in current times, the number of distractions that occur around us, the beeping of messages and notifications all contribute towards our ability to just listen or really listen. As a coach I believe that one of the key competencies is for us to be deep listeners, where we can get our coachee’s to go beyond their own thinking through our ability to listen actively to them.
The ICF definition really summaries it so beautifully. ” Focuses on what the client is and is not saying to fully understand what is being communicated in the context of the client systems and to support client self-expression. “
The sub points of todays session speaks deeper into this definition.
Considers the client context. Acknowledging that the client is speaking from their truth, which is influenced by values, age, lived experience, gender, culture along with a number of other factors that have played a role in the coachee’s life to this point. This consideration from the Coach will allow him/her to be open to hearing what the coachee is actually saying, without any judgment.
Reflects BACK what the client communicated. Sometimes the magic happens when we can hear our own words played back to us by the another. Coaches are meant to be great listeners, not only to hear what is not being said, but to also hear the words that seem heavier than others and acknowledge to the coachee what he/she is hearing. This allows the coachee to reflect back on what he/she has said. This process also ensures that the Coach has clarity and understanding of what the coachee is saying.
Included( the more) of what the client is saying. This speaks to the Coach going deeper into what the coachee is communicating. It is the deeper curiosity of “what more do you think, feel, or want to say” approach
Explores the clients emotions, SHIFTS, non verbal cues. As a Coach it is also important to observe the coachee’s body language, be in awareness of their energy for the day and their presence. This is important because it means we as Coaches are listening with our WHOLE BEING as a Coach. There are certain words and behaviors that will guide us to be curious with our coachee. This will allow the coachee to communicate what is really happening for them at that moment or what might have happened over the last few minutes/hours or days that could have them feeling the way they are. This could be good or bad.
Integrate clients communication to determine the FULL meaning. I feel like this sub point brings listening together, it integrates the coachee’s words with their body language, their presence and tone to give the Coach the full meaning of what the coachee is communicating. Human emotions, good or bad are never easy to hide in a trusted partnership. The coachee will be able to truly express themselves in a trusted partnership with their Coach.
Notices trends, discern themes, PATTERNS. This is continuous observation of the coachee through various sessions to identify patterns in behavior in similar situations that the coachee is experiencing, these could be certain themes of how we may be perceive the coachee. As part of our listening actively it is important to approach these conversation free from any judgment and be sensitive towards the coachee, whilst holding up the mirror to him/her.
My final thoughts around listening actively for me is an act of love. When we listen deeply, we are showing love and humanity to another. We are silently saying ” YOU MATTER MOST IN THIS MOMENT”.