The G.A.P ( Goal, Actions & Plans)

Anxiety and stress often comes from lack of action, or no action at all. As I reflect on this module I am reminded about a quote from Maya Angelou ” Nothing works unless you do”. The thought is always beautiful through words but without any actions we never know the gift of the destination.

It is not always easy, we get so busy on the doing, or focusing on everything else that takes us further away from our purpose and goals. When I heard the question “what are the gaps in my own life?” I am immediately reminded on how life is passing us by so quickly, how I give a little bit of me to various parts of my life, but never completely all of me to each part. The gap is about what am I sacrificing and at what cost to those around me and myself.

The coachee come into our space with their own gaps, their own thinking and lived experience that has shaped their thinking and way of being. As a Coach is it our role to unpack the Coachee’s thinking and understand the gaps that might be holding them back from moving forward or taking action.

Coaching is Definity so much more than asking the right questions or listening deeply. As human beings and I know from my own personal experience it is not always easy to keep up to a routine or goal without being held accountable or being pushed towards the success we envision for ourselves. This is where the GAP plays a critical role, bringing the goal into awareness allows us to take the necessary actions towards our plans.

This is true for everyone and as a Coach we journey alongside our Coachee through various stages creating an environment that is built through trust and phycological safety. External or internal forces are likely to make the Coachee be in a place of denial, or feel judged with despair. Coaches are there to open a space that can identify these feelings and invite the Coachee to explore these feelings for deeper clarity of thinking. The alignment that the Coach and Coachee has can ignite hidden goals and plans that have never been actioned.

The 3 Gaps that the module looked at was :

Values – What is really important to us and what are we spending time on. The illustration below best explains it, we often spend our time on the things that are not aligned to our goals or purpose in relation to our values. the example our coach Bongi gave resonated so much with me, by saying “I value my family” yet the family feels differently because more time is being spent at work. The Coaches work is to explore and be curios as to why is the coachee spending time on everything else than what is important to them.

Beliefs – What meets our needs and what does not. I had to hold the mirror up to myself on this, I want to be healthier, however my eating does not meet this need. I am guilty of this gap and always find it easier to hold other’s accountable but not myself. This is a huge learning for me as Coach, how can I coach others where I myself have gaps? The learning is ongoing.

Time – What we plan to do and What we actually do. The easiest excuse many of us often have is never having time. I plan to go for walks and yet I end up watching Netflix. I often ask myself an incisive question, “what if I knew I had time for a walk? ” how would I approach my day? This is often a limiting assumption that we make around not having time, or its not the right time, or I am not good enough, or don’t have enough experience, and yet if we ask ourselves the “what if ” question it changes the way we look at the possibility of what can be. We do need to support our Coachee’s identify their fears and what they may be avoiding to ignite their freshest thinking.

Coach Bongi shared these igniting questions with us:

What is the GAIN you’re expecting? ( from going against your value and beliefs )

What is the PAIN you’re are avoiding ? The fear of the unknown, stepping into the discomfort that could bring you the gift of a lesson and or success. I also like the question that reflects on a cross-road that the Coachee might be at ( only if there has been enough insight to validate that the Caochee might be a crossroad)

What CHANGE are you welcoming – ( what will give you shining eyes and what will it manifest for you as an individual, it could be freedom, fun, renewed energy, love, good health. wealth)

Only we can bring the change we desire into our lives with the support of a great Coach that can ignite our independent thinking.