The Power of Questions
Are we asking the same questions over and over again? It was great to reflect on, “what are the questions that serve us versus the questions that do not?” We all have questions, questions we avoid and questions we continue to ask ourselves as we journey through life, love, family and profession. we started the session with looking at what is the question we presently hold whilst also considering what are some of the questions that our clients (coachee) might also be asking themselves.
As part of the learning and growth journey as a Coach, it is equally important for us to be able to ask challenging and thought provoking question to ourselves first before being able to ask similar if not even the same questions to our coachee’s.
Questions open our thinking, as Mel shared and my previous readings from neuroscience research, the brain becomes active and releases serotonin, which allows the brain to relax and encourages thinking to happen towards finding an answer or solution for the question. Open ended questions support the process opposed to closed ended question that provide a yes or no response. The brain acknowledges that a question needs to answered. Coaching activates our thinking through insightful questions. A Coach needs to first build trust and create a safe space for the coachee in order to move forward with conversations of curiosity.
There will be instances where a client (coachee) will not be ready to answer a question at that time and its important to acknowledge that and hold the space for the coachee to reflect. We are thinking partners for our clients (coachees) which includes being both still with them and asking questions that deepen their own independent thinking that explores new insights and removes limiting assumptions. This is all based on the context of conversation and what the client (coachee) wants to think about or the outcome they wish to achieve from the session.
Our session allowed us to practice both as coachee and Coach the 5W’s and 1 H as illustrated below.
The power of questions gives the client (coachee) an opportunity to explore their own thinking.
As Coaches we have to be real and be able to ask questions to yourself first. Sometimes our tough question/s can be plagued with a feeling of impostor syndrome. Some questions bring us doubt and uncertainty. Questions allow to reflect on our fear and uncertainty. Its about what the questions reveal. The questions will not be powerful, unless we or our client (coachee) is willing to dive into the question with courage and authenticity. When we use the coaching guidelines we need to also be aware of where our client (coachee) is before taking them deeper and moving towards their purpose. Listen to the language of the client (coachee) and our own language when we are asking questions. We should try to always reframe our questions to sound supportive and encouraging opposed to confrontational and judgmental.
Our session explored various types of questions. As previously mentioned open ended questions allow for deeper thinking and conversations where a close ended question can easily close a conversations with a yes or no response. Keeping questions short and concise allows greater, deeper thinking from the client (coachee). We should avoid asking 2 questions at once. an example of that would be, “what to you want to achieve in this session and when would you like to achieve that result ?”. It can be heavy for the client ( coachee) to answer both those questions at once when they still might need to do more thinking/exploration on the what first before going into the when.
We also looked at chunking questions that give summary and reflection back to the client for their own reflection and thinking to happen. It allows the client( coachee) to move fast surface level and go deeper into their own thinking with this process. The scaling question was a great reminder that many view commitment with a perctage or number attached to it, so it is great as a coach for us to have this in our toolkit of questions. We are able to ask our client ( coachee) ” on a scale of 1 to 10 how certain are you to complete your first step?” This opens up an opportunity for the client ( coachee) to explore where they are and for the Coach to take them one step further towards their purpose/goal.
The “What if?” question, my absolute favourite and I have seen this question shift so many conversations in a positive way. The reason that this is so powerful for me, is because the “what if” questions really supports our client (coachee)from removing any limiting assumptions they might hold about themselves or others. A client struggling to go to gym, saying there isn’t enough time…. ” what if you did have enough time?” Not getting enough sleep…. ” what if you could be in bed by 8pm?” It allow us as Coaches to explore what needs to change with our client (coachee) for our client to achieve their outcome. The laser question, simple, powerful and impactful, ” what else ?” ” and this means?”
My greatest takeaway from the session was that some coaching sessions might require a few of these questions and others may just require 1 question. It is for each Coach to apply the core coach competencies, and tap into their intuition of where to next with each client. Flow and pace is importance for organic growth to happen in the thinking partnership between the Coach and Coachee.