Human Needs & Drivers (CORE)
The session started with looking at what the acronym C.O.A.C.H means.
C – Core O – Outcome A – Awareness C – Connect H – Highpoint
This module forms part of the first C- The Core
What do you need? The coaches reflected on what they needed currently, some spoke about needing change, freedom, a sense of belonging, safety, security, financial and time freedom. The first slide looked at the the well known Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Mel engaged in conversation with Coaches around their needs and what it meant in relation to the Hierarchy of Needs. We do go from stage to stage throughout our lifespan. We do have different needs. When we are talking to our Coachee, they will bring in themes or patterns that will support the coaching journey. What we say is a reflection of what is in our hearts and minds. All of our needs are inter-linked. If we think about the iceberg theory, there is a lot that is happening under water that can surface above in the way we are or show up. As I start to internalize the conversation, the continuous awareness comes to mind, we as Coach’s are not except from the very same process and journey that we walk with our Coachee’s. We are better Coach’s when we ourselves understand and are able to self reflect in a way that we expect our Coachee’s to.
Six Human Needs – Tony Robbins – What drives you ?
Certainty – This can be connected to Maslow needs around safety and shelter. As human being it is natural for us to want to know for sure before we commit to a task or project. It is the very reason that often we don’t do something because of the fear of the unknown or failure. We feel safe when we can predict the outcome. The result of this is that we stay in our comfort zone of where it feels most safe with no risk attached, this makes us feel safe and secure. In reality the recent pandemic has really taught us that there is not certainly and life is lived when we step out of our comfort zone.
Uncertainty – I had an interesting conversation with a friend and business partner around uncertainty recently, she asked me 2 questions that really made me think about living with purpose, the one question was, “if money was not an option what would I be doing? The follow on question was, if you weren’t doing this what would you be doing? as she asked me these questions, I thought mmmmm… baby steps, that is all that I need to do, is put one foot in front of the other and be at peace with knowing that I do not know where each step will take me, only that this is the journey and I need to trust it. This sums up uncertainly for me.
Significance, it can be tied to self esteem in Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. We feel significant when we are noticed, when we feel a sense of belonging. I imagine that this is the reason that so many people are drawn to cults or be part of certain groups or community, it gives them a sense of belonging in the world. It fulfils the desire to be be seen, heard and loved by others. I reflect on how I would want to be remembered and how I identify myself to the world. My twitter handle is Kubashee_love. I also describe myself firstly as Mum and then as a human being doing with heart. This speaks to my significance in the world, and what is important to me.
Love and Connection – this is relatable to the need for love and belonging. In many ways very similar to significance. We all need love, or so the thinking goes. To love and be loved is an act of serving each other as humans. Love and connection speaks to the way we show up in the world and our willingness to open our hearts and connect to people even thought they might be different from us. The way we love others also speaks to the way we love ourselves. We cannot pour out from an empty glass, hence it is equally important for us to connect with who we are and love ourselves first before we expect anyone else to. As a coach we might be confronted with a Coachee who is always exhausted and upon unpacking the exhaustion we find that they are giving too much of themselves and never asking for help or what they need. It will be important to establish this reality and support the Coachee to curiosity questions around small steps that might need to take to love themselves enough to set boundaries and sometimes say NO.
Growth is part self actualization with the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Tony Robbins : “if you not growing, you’re dying..and you’re not going to experience real fulfillment.” Everyday we learn, everyday we grow, as we move from one stage of our life into the next. How amazing to know that to truly live is to be a lifelong learner, and knowing that we never truly ever know everything. Everyone we meet, we have the gift of learning something from them. As a Coach we grow by our own self refection, acknowledging what triggers us and working on those triggers for our growth. The journey of growth is on-going.
Contribution – This is a huge one for me, especially with the work that I am involved in. When I think about the work of Peter Block around community, and the structure of belonging, it speaks to how we can all be active citizens and if we look at contribution in a slightly different way, ” how am I contributing to the very things I complain about ?” I can then change that to less complaining more active citizenship. My contribution speaks to my higher purpose, the meaning of servant leadership and how I give into the very world that I expect so much from. This also speaks to our own gifts. The saddest life lived is where we die with our songs in our hearts. We should share our gifts with others in abundance and generously. If each of us gave more of our gifts, imagine how beautiful and amazing the world would be. We would each be a positive contribution towards society.
Our needs and drivers, our Why and what drives us lies in exploring our life’s purpose as we go though our human needs. When we understand our Why, the clarity is amplified for us. This propels us to live the best version of ourselves.