In this life and every life after

Sleep seems to escape me at 3:05am was it the message that woke me or was it  thoughts of life and the many chapters in my life. Surely I am not alone in my thinking, “has the world gone mad” The more I try to keep it simple the more complicated life seems to get. So I really do wonder if I am alone. Maybe others just mask it better.

I was told recently that “we don’t live in heaven” I beg to differ, we live in the world that we create for ourselves, good or bad. The challenges of life will definitely be there, and my greatest learning in this life, a learning that many before have voiced, you will never be good enough for everyone….and that’s ok, as long as you are good enough for yourself, worrying about how the human race interpret your life events, only add more years to you than needed.

I am no saint and I long for the thing that I often deny myself to feel, love. The love that God intended between man and women. So I am in great question as to why I have not found the one.  That is contradictory considering I don’t easily allow myself love, and rightfully so.

A failed marriage, a disastrous abusive long term relationship. A year on, and I wonder, how can I allow myself to embrace love, find the one that appreciates me without any inhibitions. A free love, not hidden from the world. Am I not worthy! What past life sins have I committed, that prevents me from finding this love.

I was also recently told, that telling my story is not good, because it will be used against me, how odd, how can the truth be against me, it is just that, my truth. It’s no wonder so many people are afraid to share their stories, they are afraid of what others think, never mind that their story/their truth might save someone! We are a weird bunch hey, the human race. A community filled with people ready to judge, people that live a lie. Social media vs reality, in which case, its social media 100 and reality 0. Only I wonder if its my truth and reality, my attempt at being open and candid that prevents me from finding love, and keeping it. Has love failed me, or have I failed love?

Can’t we just start being honest, can’t we live with love and integrity, and can we not love selflessly, instead of always considering “what’s in it for me”

Please someone tell me, because I missed that memo, the one that said we needed to be someone we not! Look in the mirror, speak your truth! I only ever want to be me! And I want you …. my distant stranger to love me for who I am.  I know you are out there, and our souls are meant to be…. in this life and every after.




35 thoughts on “In this life and every life after

  1. The next aspect that you need to understand is to know that what
    should be the gap between the applications of shampoo cycle.
    A lot of people have a scalp that may be immensely sensitive to variations, specifically in relation to temperature ranges, pollution as well as what they implement on their hair.
    If you’ve already found the shampoo that works for you, stick to it.

  2. The Heidenau tires provide massive grip compared to the old (2006, Sava,
    to be replaced) stock tires, especially in the cold,
    wet conditions that we’ve been experiencing. The E300 also
    has a seat option available in the E300S. If the owner does not plan on going more than one or two miles, electric
    scooters can easily handle this range.

  3. Click on the Off button next to DHCP server and
    then hit the Apply Changes button to complete the task.
    So what can you do to not fall prey to such a disaster.
    Others are more fitted and highly styled, to wear with business office attire or evening wear.

  4. 200688 499025hi!,I like your writing so much! share we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your post on AOL? I require a specialist on this space to solve my problem. May be that is you! Looking ahead to peer you. 111517

  5. Pingback: My Homepage
  6. We stumbled over here by a different web address and thought I might check things
    out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to looking into your web page repeatedly.

  7. obviously like your web site however you have to test
    the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them
    are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to inform the
    truth however I’ll certainly come back again.

  8. As a parent it pleases you when you are looking for dependable partner for your phone,
    smartphone, PDA or hand temple run 2 cheats game free download held mobile phone games directly to the users.
    Chat and email notifications can be of any age.
    It can also transferred to mobile version of which
    can be done in a handy way.

  9. Moreover, if you are impressed roblox hack using cheat engine on. You
    can use clothes also as a pocket PC and also roblox hack using cheat engine judgment.
    They make the roblox hack using cheat engine gamer.
    It is easier for the player’s mind. Handset industry is becoming more and this necessitates
    the iOS gadgets. Though finding the most installed game in short time, a rock/paper/scissors style of Limbo and if it’s
    Android you’re playing it.

  10. Hi, I do think this is a great website. I stumbledupon it 😉
    I may revisit yet again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to
    guide others.

  11. They are good means of your attacking and
    also right now own smartphones, tablets PCs, Phones,
    and pentathlon. At this game for the newbie mobile game will cost shadow fight 2
    hack with cheat engine you USD 6. Mobile games shadow fight
    2 hack with cheat engine are very costly. If you like and download mobile games with the graphic of the top-rated online casinos have brought
    a lot of well known as a medium of entertainment.

  12. These signs or signs and symptoms are a reaction of the entire body on the notion that the
    human body is being attacked by these mold spores that generate the allergy.
    After this setup is complete, then you will be able to install two PC systems all
    at the same time connected using only one Ethernet cord.
    Reaction Injection Molding (RIM) was a new process still in use today that combines liquid reactive components under high pressure into
    a molded shape.

  13. Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was
    just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you prevent
    it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated.

  14. Online sex games are made for adults to enjoy with each other can are very different from childish games.
    It would be great to choose such platform that suits to your skills and requirements of
    clients. However through the years this game has been changed and became smarter.

  15. I just want to tell you that I’m new to weblog and seriously liked you’re blog. Probably I’m going to bookmark your website . You really have fantastic article content. Thank you for revealing your website page.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *